


Let Me Not Love Thee

by epcot97



Series: Poetry of Love [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love Square Fluff Week 2020, Marichat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22586872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epcot97/pseuds/epcot97
Summary: Reeling from the discovery of both Ladybug’s identity and her burgeoning relationship with Viperion, Chat struggles to come to terms with his new reality.  But there is still one secret left to be shared, and when a chance encounter opens the door to a second chance, Chat wonders if love of any kind might still be possible.(Part of Love Square Fluff Week 2020)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Poetry of Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651591
Comments: 78
Kudos: 99





	1. Concert

**Author's Note:**

> This is a follow-up to _Is There In Truth No Beauty?_ , a story I wrote as part of Multimouse Appreciation Week 2020. I have to admit, I felt there were some threads that hadn’t been entirely tied up into neat little bows by the final chapter, and from the moment I published the finale, found myself wondering what life might look like a few months later for Chat and Marinette. Unexpectedly, Love Square Week 2020 appeared on my horizon and I realized I had a very unique version of same; before I knew what I was about, the first few chapters appeared in my word processor. So while not **technically** a true love square story, I have used the prompts in order to bring some closure to my star-crossed duo.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Several months after discovering who Ladybug was beneath the mask, Marinette invites the old Dupont gang to hang out at a Kitty Section rehearsal as a kind of reunion of sorts. Adrien realizes he’s still smarting a little bit over the situation, and really doesn’t want to go until Nino drops an unexpected bomb._

> Yet, though thou troublest me, I must be meek;  
> In weakness must be stout;   
> Well, I will change the service, and go seek   
> Some other master out.   
> Ah my dear God! though I am clean forgot,   
> Let me not love thee, if I love thee not. 
> 
> \-- [ _The Affliction_ ](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44357/the-affliction-i) by George Herbert

* * *

“No.”

Nino looked at me over the rims of his designer frames. “Everyone is going to be there, dude. It wouldn’t be right if you’re not there, too.”

I stared at the dregs of coffee in the bottom of my mug, contemplating the delicious irony. It had been months since I’d discovered Marinette was not only Ladybug, but also deeply involved with Luka Couffaine, who happened to be one of our part-time Miraculous holders. We were all aware that Luka’s band had signed a lucrative recording contract with none other than Bob Ross, and would be heading out on tour fairly close to the end of our spring term at University; what _was_ news to me that morning, however, was Nino’s casual comment that while Kitty Section would be out of the country for a good part of the summer, Marinette had plans to tag along. 

I’d been mulling that part over as he’d continued on to explain that we’d been invited -- summoned, really -- to what was essentially a technical rehearsal for the band and their roadies. We were to act as the friendly audience willing to let them work the kinks out before they loaded up the tour bus and the semi-trailer. Marinette had cleverly couched the invite as a reunion of sorts for all of us that had attended Dupont back in the day. 

I had little interest in seeing the “old gang,” as Nino had put it; aside from my best friend and his fiance, once my other childhood friends had been banned from using their Miraculous after the catastrophic Miracle Queen battle with Hawkmoth, we’d scattered to the four winds and rarely, if ever, had a reason to reconnect. My more pressing concern, though, was Ladybug, for she had yet to tell me she was planning on being missing in action for the summer. Seeing we were less than two weeks from the end of the semester, it was a bit of an issue to be addressed in very short order. Given how our relationship had chilled it wasn’t surprising she was delaying the inevitable confrontation until the very last minute.

Unfortunately for her, of course, she had no clue who Chat was and had incorrectly gambled he wasn’t in her inner circle. Nino had inadvertently given me a much needed heads up.

“Look, Adrien,” Nino was saying, and I turned my green eyes toward him. “Allie and I are a bit worried about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You.” He sipped his tea. “You’ve not been yourself in months! What’s worse? You’ve become a bit like your old man -- something of a recluse. I had to _beg_ you to meet me this morning, and Allie says you’ve been avoiding her and Mari on campus.”

I bristled at the mention of Father. “I’m _nothing_ like him,” I said icily. “I just happen to be very busy. Between school and modelling, there’s not much downtime.” _Not to mention the near-daily akuma attacks,_ I added mentally.

Nino looked at me, his face betraying his concern. “What happened between you and Mari?” he asked. “Whatever funk you are in started right after she hooked up with Luka.”

“Marinette and I are---”

“Yeah yeah,” Nino said, waving his hand at me. “Just friends. You’ve told me a million times.”

“It’s true,” I said hotly, though I could also feel a bit of a flush creeping up my face. “And I’m not avoiding her. We just don’t have any classes in common this semester.” I neglected to add I had made a point of ensuring we were in different tracks for the spring.

“Right,” Nino said, winking and snapping his finger. “You suddenly don’t have _any_ classes together after three semesters nearly lock step?”

I shrugged. “It happens.”

“Right,” Nino repeated, clearly seeing through my lie. “Come.”

“No.”

My best friend of more years than I could count caught my hand as I raised my coffee mug to drain the last of the brown liquid. “Do it as a favor to me. Or to yourself,” he said quietly, eyes intently boring into mine. “Whatever Marinette was to you, or you _thought_ was to you, this is your chance to get some closure.”

“I haven’t got a clue what you’re--”

“I might just be a DJ,” Nino said, smiling wryly as he cut me off, “but that also means I have to be able to read my audience. Know their feelings, their current mood, and spin up the right vinyl to keep the party going.” He sat back. “Come. Say goodbye or whatever it is you need to do. Do it,” he added very quietly, “before it’s too late. Before you can’t tell her anything.”

I stared at him, and despite myself, added, “Before she’s gone.”

Nino simply nodded. 

I dropped my head, allowing my bangs to fall forward before I pushed them up with an exasperated shove from a hand. My friend was right; if there was a chance that Marinette was leaving for the summer, there was a better-than-average chance she’d actually never return. Kitty Section was taking off, and she’d want to be by Luka’s side to support him. I couldn’t blame her for that. Somehow, though, I’d need to figure out what the Hell I was feeling and deal with that first, preferably before Ladybug dropped her little bombshell on me.

Looking up, I nodded. “Okay. I’ll be there.”

“Good. You won’t regret it.”

I smiled wryly as I stood and shrugged into my jacket. “Dude, I already do.”

* * *

Landing on the rooftop overlooking the venue Bob Ross had rented for Kitty Section, I perched atop the concrete half-wall and took in the view. I had a clear line of sight to the stage entrance, where a nondescript tour bus was already parked; the trailer for the stage materials looked sad, sitting on it’s legs waiting, like a jilted date, to get hooked up to it’s truck. There was little activity for my feline eyes to pick up, and less for the feline ears; popping open my baton, I saw I was edging up on being beyond fashionably late and moving into rude.

Sighing as I shook my unruly mane, I flipped over the edge of the roof and landed in an alley opposite from the theater. Quickly dropping my transformation, I trotted across the street and pulled the door open to the atrium. Several rent-a-cop types greeted me, but one quick Million Dollar Model Smile and I was waved through to the theater proper.

To my surprise, the vast darkened space was empty save for what I thought were heads three-quarters of the way to the stage. The only illumination was a single spotlight on stage center, making me privately thankful for the residual night vision my civilian self experienced as a side effect of being Chat. It allowed me to deftly make my way down the aisle and safely around the haphazardly placed cables and partially unpacked equipment that appeared to be everywhere. Locating the correct row, I tried not to do a double take; Marinette was sitting closest to me, completely and totally alone.

_Odd._

I quickly moved down the row and plopped onto the velour-covered seat next to Marinette. “Hey, stranger,” I said as I leaned in for a traditional French air kiss.

“He lives!” Marinette smiled as she returned the favor. “I’m glad you came.”

“Me, too,” I said somewhat untruthfully. “Where’s everyone else?”

Marinette looked at me. “Everyone else?”

“I thought—” I started before abruptly cutting myself off. It dawned on me that my good-for-nothing best friend had contrived to ensure I had met up with Marinette. There was a reunion, all right; just not the one Nino had alluded to. A wave of guilt washed over me that I’d nearly skipped out. 

Quickly I changed directions; my eyes flicked to the stage which, save for a few microphones, seemed to be missing anything remotely akin to performers. “I thought I was going to miss everything.”

“Hardly,” Marinette sighed. “They’ve had nothing but trouble with the tech. And the set’s not even up correctly,” she added, pointing to a rig with lights and maybe a banner that was still sitting at the rear of the stage. “At this rate, it will be midnight before they actually get to _sing_.”

I groaned inwardly, for I’d little desire to stay.

“How are you?” Marinette asked. “I rarely see you around campus these days.”

_I see you every day, Milady. Sometimes twice a day._

“You know the drill,” I said, leaning on my model skills to give her a warm smile that was anything but. “Class. Projects. Modelling.” _Saving Paris nightly._ I shrugged. “Honestly? I think I get two or three hours of sleep at most.”

To my surprise, a genuine smile appeared on her beautiful face. “That’s funny. It’s about the same for me. And now I have this added complication,” she said, waving to the stage.

“I heard you might be going with them,” I said.

Marinette looked back at me. “Maybe. I’ve not made up my mind yet.”

I felt my eyebrows go up. “This is quite an opportunity, Mari. Kitty Section is likely to do a world tour if this summer thing works out.” I paused for a moment. “Your designs will get amazing exposure.”

“I know,” Marinette sighed. “But it’s not a simple decision for me.” She looked away. “My life is here in Paris. I’ve never considered leaving it. At least, not before Luka asked me to join him.”

“Have you mentioned any of this to Luka?” I asked, unsure why I wanted to know. 

“No,” she said quietly. “I can talk to him about almost anything, but this… I can’t bring myself to broach the topic. I know he wants me to go; I’m just so torn.”

My inner Chat just couldn’t help it - despite my conflicted feelings, I could see Marinette was adrift, which was extraordinarily unusual. I leaned closer, genuinely concerned now. “I’m happy to lend an ear, Mari,” I said quietly, now very much aware I’d cut my friend loose in a rather childish attempt to get back at her. “I know I usually feel better when I’m able to use a sounding board,” I added even more softly, realizing I was speaking more as Chat than Adrien at that moment.

“I’d like that,” she said, then looked up. “Luka!”

I turned, and caught Luka’s expression a fraction of a second before he recomposed his face into it’s normal Zen-like repose. Nevertheless, I knew I looked (and felt) guilty, for reasons that were somewhat unclear to me. “Luka,” I smiled. “This looks like a complicated mess.”

“It is,” he frowned. “And we’re nowhere close to a musical rehearsal yet.” He looked to Marinette. “Rose burst a seam on her costume. Can you--”

“On it,” Marinette said as she pushed up from her chair. She leaned over to hug me quickly. “I’m glad you stopped by. I’ll see you on campus?”

“Yes,” I said.

She hurdled the row and then trotted backstage, leaving me with Luka. We stared at each other for a few uncomfortable moments; while he was still unaware that I was Chat, he knew Marinette’s history with Adrien. “Why are you here?” he asked without preamble.

“Marinette asked me to swing by,” I said. “By way of Nino.”

Luka frowned again. “She’s got enough on her plate right now without you suddenly popping back into her life,” he said.

My eyes narrowed a bit. “All of us go back a ways,” I said cautiously, my latent feline instincts picking up the implied threat from someone I also considered a friend, “so I’m going to let that pass. I have no intention of inserting myself between the two of you, Luka. I’m well aware of how she feels about you.” I paused. “And me. Or how she used to.”

“She’s never fully gotten over you,” he said, and in the semi-darkness, I could see his eyes were flashing. “I’d prefer if you continued to keep your distance.”

“Luka--”

“You hurt her pretty badly when you disappeared from her life a few months ago,” he continued. “When she leaves Paris with me in a few weeks, I’d rather not have her have to deal with that a second time.”

 _She’s hurt? When_ I _dropped out of her life?! WTF?_ I thought, considering how I’d tried and failed to get over my own hurt at how everything had played out with Viperion. Irony was rife that evening.

Fur firmly up along my spine, I held my ground. “ _If_ she leaves Paris, don’t you mean?” I said coldly, my eyes locked with his in a sudden burst of protectiveness. “It’s her decision.”

Luka stepped toward me; the space in the row was limited, and he tried to use it to advantage as he leaned into his menace as Viperion. “Steer clear of this, Adrien,” he said quietly. “Go back to whatever cave you’ve been hiding in. We’ve got this.”

I stood toe-to-toe with him, and cocked my head in a classic Dangerous Chat move. “I don’t back down easily,” I said with a cold smile. “And now that I am aware she is hurting _and_ adrift, I am compelled to help.” I narrowed my eyes and stepped closer to him, turning the full force of Chat’s personality on him. “I can assure you, whatever decision she makes will be in _her_ best interest. Not mine. Not yours. _Hers_.”

Luka took a step back. “She doesn’t need your help.”

“That remains to be seen,” I said as I pulled my jacket off the back of the chair. 

“Don’t do this, Adrien,” Luka called after me as I made my way down the row. “Don’t hurt her again.”

“I only want her to be happy, Luka,” I said as I paused at the end of the row, back to the blue-haired guitarist. “That’s always been the most important thing in my life. I’d forgotten that until tonight.” 

“That’s rich,” he laughed cruelly. “Your actions don’t back that up.”

He wasn’t wrong. “That might be true, but I intend to make up for it.” I looked over to him. “Good luck with your rehearsal,” I said as I started up toward the exit. “I hope it goes better than our conversation.”


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _His encounter with Marinette at the rehearsal prompts Chat to wonder if he’s been a bit harsh on his partner - and himself. For the first step to moving forward is to trust yourself._

For the first time in months, I found myself staring at the ceiling of my dorm room, unable to sleep. My conversations with Marinette and then Luka had apparently re-opened old wounds I didn’t know I still had; I’d transformed back to Chat after leaving the theater and then gone on a long circuit around Paris, trying to organize my thoughts. It hadn’t helped. By the time I landed on my dorm room windowsill, I’d felt more disjointed emotionally than when I’d started and had tumbled right onto my bed without dropping my transformation.

My tail was twisting, a clear insight into my turbulent thoughts as I tossed my baton up and smoothly caught it, alternating paws with each throw. The easy rhythm had finally allowed me to focus, though what I was seeing in myself was disquieting.

Luka wasn’t wrong; I had been intentionally avoiding Marinette for months. I’d like to think I had continued to perform flawlessly as Ladybug’s partner, but in truth, I’d probably been perfunctory at best. Show up, listen to her plan, deal with the akuma, take off. No chit chat. No socializing. No _nothing_. I was a little surprised Marinette hadn’t made the obvious connection, considering how both parts of me had been treating her.

Shaking my mane, I knew I could do better - _would_ do better. But Luka had put a rather fine point on the issue, for anything I did at this point might be misconstrued. I had no interest in trying to woo Marinette away from Luka; she’d made her choice on that front and I’d already made peace with it. 

Or had I? 

My tail twisted again and I sighed as I snatched the baton out of the air one final time. I _wasn’t_ at peace with her loving someone else. I _wasn’t_ at peace that the woman I loved was on the cusp of leaving Paris. And I was most definitely _not_ at peace with possibly hurting her again. For as sure as I lay there, feline ears and all, I knew I had hurt her.

What had I become? An angry cat, upset that the world hadn’t gone my way, hissing at everything and everyone that crossed my path. A feral feline with a bruised ego and a broken heart. My ire at being overlooked had mutated into this… thing... that had not been there when my friend needed me the most.

And I knew she needed me. Not just as a partner, and certainly not as her lover; as the friend I had long been and, if I were lucky, would be again. But it was a risk. Sitting up and sliding to the edge of my bed, I stared at the life size poster of Ladybug I still had on the dorm room wall. The glossy paper was a reminder of so many things: what I’d had, what I _could_ have had, and what I’d lost. More importantly, perhaps, it spoke to my ability to trust myself to do the right thing, for I was more than a little unsure that a part of me wouldn’t see this as a chance to try and snatch Marinette away from Luka. That was the wrong move for so many reasons, and I hoped that by acknowledging it, I would at least be aware of the danger and steer clear of it.

I leaned my head into my paws. Why was this so difficult? I’d shredded more akumas than I could count at that point with little to no fear. Facing Marinette -- facing Ladybug -- and trying to be the friend she desperately seemed to need right now was scaring the fur right off of me. So much could go wrong. I felt like I was at that proverbial fork in the road, trying to divine whether the road less travelled was a better option; there were no signs, no helpful navigation system to aid me in finding the correct path. And I wasn’t sure I could rely on my heart to point me toward true north this time. 

Closing my masked eyes, I took a deep breath and focused. I _had_ to do this. But could I do it?

 _Only one way to find out,_ I thought.

* * *

Between classes, I scrambled up the side of the chemistry building and hid behind a rooftop vantage point that gave me a fairly wide view on the quad most students traversed. Not having slept at all the night before had provided time to consider my next move; after giving it a lot of thought, I decided it might be wiser for Chat to approach Marinette in lieu of Adrien. If Luka was correct and Marinette herself had unresolved issues with my alter ego, it might make it easier to get over, well, _me_ and focus on Luka. It didn’t hurt that she knew Chat had feelings for her; I was betting the latter would be easier to deal with that staring at her old crush.

Poking my mane just above the filigree I was pressed behind, my feline eyes scanned the crowd for a particular ravenesque head of hair. I didn’t have long to wait, and spotted her as she exited the building across from me; I started to stealthily parallel her as she crossed the grassy space toward the library. Breaking into a run, I dove off the edge of the building and dropped to the side alley, landing in a crouch before leaping to the corner. Pressing myself against it, I leaned out and saw Marinette walking toward me, head down as she scrolled something on her phone.

Timing it just right, I snagged her arm as she passed by and pulled her into the darker space between the two academic buildings. “Hey--!” she cried out before she saw me. “---Chat!?”

“Sorry, Milady,” I apologized. “I needed to catch you and this was the most efficient way to do it.”

Marinette quickly looked around to ensure we were alone. “You really shouldn’t call me that,” she admonished, but there was a smile tugging at her lips. “Some would think I’m someone I’m not.”

“Quite right, Princess,” I said. “My apologies.”

“I’ll overlook it. This time.” She looked at me again. “This _is_ a bit unusual, though. What’s so important you had to catnap me in broad daylight?”

“I… I’d like to visit you. I need to talk to you.”

She looked nonplussed. “You’re talking to me _now_.”

“I know, but I think we need more time that either of us have at the moment.”

Marinette arched an eyebrow. “For what?”

I took a deep breath, for I’d given this particular pitch quite a bit of thought. “I know about Kitty Section. That you are thinking of joining them on their tour this summer.”

The color drained from her face. “How did you find out about that?”

“That’s not important. Let me be clear on this one point: I’m not upset that you’ve not told me. Yet.” I put my paws on her arms. “I freely admit I’ve been a bit less than stellar in the partner department as of late. That’s on me. All I can do is apologize and promise you a more familiar version of me will be making a resurgence.”

Marinette smiled. “More puns? More flirting? Hold me back.”

“Puns, yes. Flirting, well,” I smiled wryly, “there’s not much point in that now, is there? But what I feel worse about is not being there for you as your partner. As your _friend_.”

She put a hand to my arm. “Chat, whatever you might think, I’ve always known you’ve had my back. And would be there for me if I needed you.”

I looked into her deep blue eyes. “You need me now, I think,” I said softly. “No one else in Paris understands your burdens as well as I do. Let me be your sounding board.”

“Chat--”

“Look,” I said quickly. “I have no ulterior motives here other than your happiness. I am not trying to pry you from Luka’s grasp.”

“Grasp?” she chuckled.

I groaned. “Poor choice of words. But he is a snake, after all.”

“Occasionally,” she laughed again before considering me for a moment. “I’d hoped to talk this out with Adri-- _someone_ , that’s true,” she said, nearly mentioning my alter-ego. “But you're right. I’m not sure I could explain the complexity of my dilemma to him without revealing myself.”

“Q.E.D.,” I smiled.

“Really?” she said as she rolled her eyes. 

“I _am_ in college,” I said carefully. “I know big words now.

“And apparently Latin.”

“I knew _that_ already,” I laughed.

“Why am I not surprised?” She looked at her phone. “I’ve got to run. Luka’s doing another rehearsal tonight, but I’ve begged off since I’m going home for the weekend.” Looking back at me, she smiled again. “Fancy some fresh croissants?”

“I’ve missed those,” I replied honestly. “Tonight?”

“I’ll see you there, kitty,” she whispered as she leaned up and kissed me on the cheek.

I tried hard to ignore the thumping of my heart as she walked back out into the sunshine.


	3. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Chat is on his way to visit Marinette, but is interrupted when a garden-themed akuma makes life difficult for Ladybug._

Class ended early for me on Fridays, and as I left the Fashion and Retail Sciences building I knew I had several hours before I could realistically appear on the rooftop patio at the Bakery. Though we’d not set a specific time, back when I’d been a more frequent visitor, I’d generally appear about an hour after dinner. Looking at my phone, I groaned; for once, I had no modelling gigs, photo shoots or other House of Gabriel engagements on my calendar. Quite literally, I had no place to go and nothing to do until my meetup with Marinette hours from then.

Shifting my backpack, I stared at the wide grassy quad and randomly started off toward the planter in the center which happened to be in the general direction of my dorm room. Nino had scored a copy of the latest version of _Gears of War_ , so my Xbox was starting to look like a solid way to pass some time. It was a warm, fragrant early summer day in Paris, and the delightful scent of the delicate tea roses in the ornamental planter wafted toward my latent feline sense of smell, making me pause at the edge of the decorative border. Leaning forward, I reached down and cradled a flower in my hand before quickly snapping it off the bush, allowing me to turn it around and around to take in the delicate light pink color. Immediately I thought of my partner, more based on the color - for as any akuma would tell you, she was anything but delicate.

Setting my backpack down on the concrete ledge, I hopped up and sat on the warm surface. Without immediately realizing it, I’d perched close to my normal Chat stance; it took a few raised eyebrows from passing coeds before I casually stretched out like I’d been doing yoga, repositioning into a more normal looking cross-legged pose. The rose in my hand reminded me that I’d never gotten around to a relationship - a _serious_ relationship - with anyone while I’d been pursuing Ladybug.

Not that there weren’t plenty of women (and a few men) who had pursued _me_. I’d had dinner with several, but none had been inspiring and most had been squeezed into what little free time I didn’t really have. Holding the rose up to my nose, I took a deep breath and exalted in my ability to really, _truly_ smell every note of the flower courtesy of my Miraculous. 

Closing my eyes, I realized I’d come closest to something special with Kagami, but had never been able to completely let go of my feelings for Ladybug. To her credit, she’d been the consummate lady, patiently waiting for me to come around, knowing she was competing with someone else. Even her patience had limits, though, and any chance I had with Kagami ran out when she followed her mother back to Tokyo.

Smiling wryly, I could now admit to myself Ladybug had _always_ been my goal, and I’d held out for her. As it turns out, too long, it seems; having crashed and burned, I now found I had no interest in dating, and my heart had, for all intents and purposes, been shelved. Closing my eyes once more, I turned my face toward the sun and relished the warmth, allowing that particular cat tendency out to distract momentarily from just how lonely I’d become since Marinette had moved on. 

As I considered life, I felt a gentle nudge at my arm, followed by another. I cracked open an eye and then both went wide, for the rose bush had begun to grow. I’d barely had time to register what I was seeing before a vine had wrapped itself around my bicep, the thorns shredding my Gabriel designer shirt in the process. I started to tug a bit only to find the bush was tugging _back_.

 _Not good,_ I thought. _I_ knew _I shouldn’t have picked that flower; now I’ve pissed off the roses, too._

My attempt to slide back off the concrete planter was thwarted when another vine wrapped itself around my torso; having been to this rodeo a few times, I didn’t panic, it being clear that getting away from the embrace of the bush was futile as a civilian. Looking around the quad, I could see other planters had similarly ensnared unsuspecting passersby, most not reacting nearly as calmly as I was. Struggling against the vines, I could also see there were still far too many people in the area for me to transform without drawing any undue attention.

Dropping the rose from the one hand that was still free, I tried unsuccessfully to dig my phone out of my pocket; the way the vines had wrapped themselves around me, I couldn’t quite squirm enough to reach it. So much for calling for help. Blowing out a breath, I decided a new plan was in order.

“Plagg, I need a distraction. Or some way to alert Ladybug.”

I felt my kwami slide against the inside of my shirt and then saw his tiny face peek out from the edge of the fabric. “You can’t transform here,” he said simply. “I’ll go. Try not to get eaten while I’m gone.”

“I’ll do my best,” I said, arching an eyebrow.

Plagg nodded and quickly zipped away. As I watched his diminutive figure fade into the distance, I felt that strange loneliness tinged with fear that hit each time I was separated from my constant companion. It didn’t happen often - at least, officially. Unofficially, I assumed Plagg met up with Tikki when I was sleeping. I couldn’t blame him. The two were made to be together.

Feeling rather helpless, I watched as the planters managed to snare two or three dozen people; I assumed the akuma was nearby, but it had yet to make an appearance on campus. Loud crashes, and the screams that resulted echoed from behind me, letting me know it was coming. I redoubled my somewhat fruitless efforts to escape from the thorny vines.

“Hurry, Ladybug,” I said quietly, hoping to not become rose fertilizer before I’d had a chance to make good on my promise to help her.

To my suprise, Viperion was the one who dropped out of the sky and landed in a partial crouch next to me. As he stood up, he raised a masked eyebrow. “Embracing your fans again?”

“I can’t help it,” I rejoined with my best Model Smile. “They tend to catch me between classes.”

Something of a wry smile played across his lips. “You sound like Chat Noir.”

“Well, I still do the voiceover work for the movies,” I said, hoping the slight flush wasn’t as apparent as it felt. “Those scripts must be rubbing off on me. Does he really talk like that?”

“One constant pun after another.” He quickly took in my ripped clothing as he stepped closer. “Your father won’t be pleased,” he said as he pulled out his lyre.

“He’ll get over it,” I said, my eyes on his musical instrument. “Are you… alone?” I asked carefully.

“Ladybug is on her way,” he replied as he looked over the vines and picked a spot. “We can only hope that mangy black cat will favor us with an appearance.”

It was my first indication that I’d botched up things a bit across the board, not just with Marinette. Luka and I had been fairly close - not as close as Nino and I, but solid friends. The relationship I’d enjoyed with him as Chat had also gone off the rails, though we had continued to function fairly well as a team. “Chat will be here,” I said honestly. “He never fails Ladybug. This akuma hasn’t triggered any alerts, though, which might explain why he’s not arrived yet.”

“You’re right on both counts,” Viperion said as he whacked a vine with a well-placed strike using his lyre. The vine snapped apart, but unexpectedly shot out and grabbed his hand. “Whoops!” he said as he tried to pull back.

“I wouldn’t---” I started, but it was too late. Viperion’s initial struggles caused the vine to wrap itself tightly around his wrist; he yelped and dropped the lyre as he attempted to resist the inexorable pull toward the concrete planter. In a few seconds, he found himself squashed up against me, fuming.

“Second Chance?” I asked helpfully.

“I didn’t trigger it before I got here,” he frowned as he blew out a breath dejectedly. “She’s not gonna be happy with me. Not only did I fail to wait for her, I managed to get trapped myself.”

“Join the--it happens,” I chuckled, quickly correcting my initial thought. “The Ladyblog has plenty of photos of her rescuing various members of the team. Especially Chat,” I added with a bit of self-deprecating humor. “Though not as much as she used to.”

“He’s grown up now,” Viperion said. “Still occasionally an arrogant SOB, but I’ll take him on my side any day.”

I tried not to do a double take. _That’s kind of you to say, Luka_. 

“I wonder…” I started, as my eyes alighted on the lyre lying on the ground a meter from Viperion’s boot.

His green-highlighted hair shifted as he looked in the direction I’d glanced. “What?”

“They say music soothes the soul of the beast,” I offered, angling my blonde head toward the out-of-control rose bush.

He looked at me, his now-green masked eyes narrowed. “You think it would work?”

“Don’t have much to lose,” I observed. “If we’re really lucky, we won’t have to be saved by Ladybug.”

“Good point,” Viperion smiled. “I have my ego to consider, after all,” he laughed as he stretched a leg to try and reach the lyre.

“I dunno,” I grinned. “Getting rescued by a lady appeals to me for some reason.”

Viperion rolled his eyes. “Why am I not--”

We both turned at the whisper of the yo-yo as Ladybug gracefully descended to softly land in front of us. “Boys,” she smiled. “Need a hand?”

“We’ve got it right where it wants us,” I offered after shooting a glance to Viperion.

“Exactly,” he nodded. “We were about to give it our terms for surrender.”

“Of course,” she smiled wider as she spun up her yo-yo. 

Deftly she shot it out strategically several times, freeing both of us; Viperion rolled left and vaulted up and away; I tried to leap, Chat-like, to the right but only succeeded in tumbling off the concrete and into an ungainly heap of limbs. My jeans tore in two spots and I had a nice case of road rash on one knee.

“Spending too much time transformed,” I grumbled under my breath. “You’re starting to think like a--ooof!” I was in the process of trying to get up off of my hands and knees when Ladybug rather roughly grabbed me by the waist and took off into the sky. 

“Hang on,” she said as we sailed across the quad, rising higher and higher until (ironically) she landed in the eaves of the same building where I’d surreptitiously waited for her earlier that morning.

Releasing me, she put a hand to my shoulder. “Stay here, out of harm’s way?” she implored. “I’ll come get you once the excitement is over.”

“I can find my own way home,” I said, gracing her with my Model Smile. 

_Besides,_ I added mentally, _you need Chat. He can’t appear if you make me wait here._

“Don’t worry about me, I’m all grown up now,” I added helpfully.

Ladybug laughed at that. “Maybe, but I _do_ still worry about you,” she said, obliquely referring to her penchant for always ensuring Adrien Agreste was safe. “Do me a favor? Stay safe?”

“I will,” I said. “Straight back to my dorm room.”

“Promise?”

I crossed my heart with a finger. “Promise.”

Ladybug looked at me for a moment and hesitated before speaking again. “The timing is wrong, but… can I ask another favor of you?”

I blinked, feeling the tug of needing to join the battle against the akuma. “Uh, okay,” I said slowly. 

“It’s a big one,” she said carefully. “Are you free tomorrow night? I need to make sure you understand exactly what it is I’m asking of you, and it would be easier to do someplace... private.”

“Uh… you’re not going to offer me that Snake Miraculous again, are you?” I asked, remembering the disaster _that_ had been. It seemed unlikely given Luka was wearing the bracelet even as we spoke. “I’d be honored, of course, but if I had a choice, the Dragon or Tiger would be good options.”

“No, nothing quite like that.” Milady looked at me, and I could see something in her eyes.

 _Oh my God,_ I thought, intuitively knowing what Ladybug was up to. _She can’t talk to Adrien as Marinette, but_ can _behind the mask of Ladybug. This is going to get complicated quickly._

Hiding my misgivings, I nodded with a slight smile. “Sure.”

“I’ll meet you on the roof of your dorm a bit after 2000.”

Despite everything, I grinned, reasoning it was in character for Adrien. “I can’t believe my luck,” I said. “A date with Ladybug. On a Saturday, even.”

“It’s not a date,” she said quickly, but I could see the slight flush to her cheeks. 

“If you say so,” I replied, letting a little Chat out. 

“I do,” she nodded as she prepped her yo-yo. “Stay safe,” she reminded me as she vaulted into the sunny afternoon.

“You have no idea,” I said quietly as I watched her lithe form depart.

“She doesn’t,” Plagg said, suddenly appearing by my shoulder.

I smiled without looking at him. “She’s still beautiful, isn’t she?”

“I wouldn’t know,” he said. “Now, can we get rid of this akuma? There’s a piece of Camembert with my name on it back in your dorm room I desperately want to get to know better.”

“Far be it for me to get between you and the love of _your_ life,” I laughed. “Plagg - claws out!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, @MalcomReynolds. No tulips. They may make the next chapter. ;-)


	4. Your Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Ladybug’s unexpected request during the akuma attack spurs conflicting emotions for Chat as he visits with Marinette at the Bakery, making him wonder whether or not he should act upon them, or continue the charade for the sake of all involved._

My last visit to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery rooftop patio had been a bit of an early morning shocker, considering I’d accidentally discovered Marinette had spent the prior evening with a certain blue-haired guitarist. It had been the final piece of evidence of her dual identity - Ladybug having already revealed to me she was dating Luka as a civilian - and the final knock-out blow to my heart. As I landed on the once-familiar fragrant chimney over the cheery Bakery, I thought about all of the past evenings I’d alighted on the railing, enjoying a pasty or two and chatting about anything and everything with my friend.

Never once had I thought about taking it further, for of course I’d been in love with the wrong persona. It was a mistake I would have to live with, and one that I forcibly set aside as I saw Marinette leaning against the railing below me, contemplating the Seine. “Good evening,” I said quietly.

Marinette turned with the smile I’d grown to love. “Hey, kitty,” she said. “Right on time.”

“Have you known me to be otherwise?” I smiled from my perch above her.

“Not in all the years we’ve worked together.” 

We stared at each other for a few awkward moments until I cocked my head questioningly.

“Oh! Where are my manners?” she asked as she stepped forward. “Come on down, kitty.”

I leapt to the railing with a rubbery _thump_ and perched in my stance, gripping the rail between my paws while bracing my boots on either side. “How was the rest of your day?” I asked, deciding to ease into our conversation despite knowing exactly how she’d spent it. The garden gnome of an akuma had taken most of the afternoon and all three of us to defeat.

“Busy,” she sighed. “You?”

“Same,” I nodded. 

We stared at each other again, each trying to judge what our opposite was thinking. Even with my enhanced empathic tendencies as Chat, Marinette was proving to be inscrutable to me. My tail started to swish despite my attempt to remain aloof; Marinette’s eyes darted toward it and I knew I’d given up the game. 

“So,” she said as she crossed her arms and started to pace the small rooftop patio. “You know.”

“I know a lot of things, Princess,” I replied with a light laugh. “You’ll need to be a bit more specific.”

She whirled on me. “Don’t make this more difficult than it already is, Chat.”

My ears flattened. “That wasn’t my intent by asking to come over.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, Chat,” she said, blowing a breath out as she walked back to the railing and leaned over it. “There’s too much rattling around in my brain and the stress has given me something of a short fuse.”

I rotated my feline ears back and forced my tail to remain still, for it threatened to start thrashing back and forth at my worry that Marinette was still likely to get annoyed at some point. “Take another deep breath,” I said, forcing my voice to stay calm, “and then--” 

“That’s the problem,” she said as she hung her head over the railing. Her hair was loose and fell forward as she did so; it wasn’t lost on me how it was an amazingly good look for her. I could also tell that both her respiration and pulse had ticked up a bit. 

I knew there was a sure-fire way to calm her down, but also realized that would come very close to the self-imposed line I’d set for myself. Still, her agonizing over her choice was painful to watch; decision made, I slipped off the railing and quickly moved to her. “Marinette,” I started as I tentatively put a paw on her shoulder, “would you allow me to help you de-stress a bit?”

“I’m not sure you can,” she said, then laughed a bit morosely. “I’m not sure _anyone_ can.”

“Do you still trust me?” I asked quietly.

“What kind of a question is that?” Marinette looked over her shoulder at me. “I’ve always trusted you, Chat.”

I nodded, then slowly hugged her from behind; leaning my head into hers, I started to purr as I said softly, “Focus on the purring. Only the purring.”

“Okay,” she said.

Slowly, I felt the tension begin to ease from her body as I kept up the twin mantra of purrs and gentle commentary. “Take a deep breath… in, then out… good. Everything else but the purring is just white noise… breathe… that’s it… in, then out.”

As her breathing started to become a bit more regular, I ramped up the purring a bit more - a tall order, since it didn’t technically operate on demand; normally, it simply reflected my current emotional status. I had to work overtime to keep just the right balance of emotions I needed there, just at the surface, but no further. This was the closest I’d been to Marinette since… well, since Luka. It was made all the more difficult by knowing I was holding Ladybug in my arms.

“Think of flowers,” I whispered in her ear as I heard her heartbeat become a slow _thumpa-thump_. “A wide field of--”

“Tulips?” she said quietly, with a bit of a laugh.

Knowing how that particular flower affected Ladybug in the same way catnip affected me, I laughed slightly before replying. “If that makes you comfortable, then sure. Close your eyes… deep breath, in, out… you’re walking through a wide field of purple and pink tulips under the warm midday sun.” I paused. “Can you feel the gentle warmth of the sun on your skin?”

“Yes,” she said slowly.

It took far, far longer than I thought, speaking to just how keyed up Marinette was. Had I used more cat tricks it might have gone faster, but given my own feelings at the moment, I wisely decided to stick to just purring and my gentle voice. I flicked a longing glance to the plate of pastries she’d left on her small table for me. My feline sense of smell told me how mouth-wateringly delicious they were, made all the more acute by my having skipped dinner to be with Marinette. Still, a little more than thirty minutes later, I thought I had her reasonably relaxed.

Gently, I turned her toward me and brushed her hair away from her forehead. “When you are ready, go ahead and open your eyes again. Take your time.”

Marinette had a soft look to her face, one that bespoke to being a peace - at least for a bit. Slowly, she opened her blue eyes and looked at me with a smile. “How can you do that?” she asked.

I shrugged. “I’m a cat. We’re supposed to make people feel good, right?”

“The black cat of _destruction_ ,” she reminded me. “It would seem to be a contradiction.”

“Not at all, when it means I can blast away all of your fears,” I smiled gently as I led her over to her chaise and the now intoxicating fragrance of the pastries. “All right, now that you’re centered, tell me your troubles.”

Marinette sighed as she sun into the cloth. “I’d pay real money for a field of tulips right now. Or an akuma.”

Snagging a croissant in each paw, I leapt to the surface of an upended planter; I’d claimed it ages ago as my perch when visiting with Marinette, though I was a bit surprised to find it was still there. Snarfing down the first croissant in one bit, I decided to dive straight in. 

“You’re leaving Paris.”

Marinette nodded. “Luka has asked me to come with the band as it tours this summer.” 

“You don’t sound very enthusiastic about that,” I said as I licked crumbs off of my paw.

She turned to say something else, and smiled at me instead.

“What?” I asked, cocking my head at her and narrowing my masked eyes. “Is there something on my costume?”

“No,” she laughed. “I’d just forgotten how you did that -- how much of a cat you become.”

I recognized her delaying tactics and decided to play to it. “After all these years by your side, Milady?”

“Yeah.” She looked away, and her heart rate ticked up a bit.

I reached for a small macaroon and popped it into my mouth, munching slowly enough to let her gather her thoughts again. “You love Luka,” I said simply.

“Yes,” she replied without hesitation.

“Then follow your heart.” I slid down from the perch and crouched next to her chair. “It’s never led me astray,” I added, though inwardly I thought perhaps I wasn’t _exactly_ the best case study.

Marinette looked down at my masked eyes. “That’s the problem,” she said, and I could feel her pain again. “I think it’s conflicted. On a lot of levels.”

Swallowing my own opinions on the matter, I smiled my best Chat smile. “You can’t seriously be thinking you’d be letting any of us down if you left Paris, are you? After everything you’ve done?”

“Yes,” she sighed. “And I _would_ have to give up being Ladybug.” 

“Just temporarily,” I said quickly. “You could have one of our part-time holders fill in until you get back.” I smiled a bit wider. “As much as I would hate to break in a new partner---”

“I’m not sure it would be temporary,” Marinette said quietly.

My masked eyes widened. “Oh,” I said simply as I sat back on my haunches. “I thought the tour was just for the summer?”

“It is,” she said. “But Bob Ross is insisting the band decamp to Los Angeles to cut the next album, and then go on a tour in North America afterward. It would be at least a year before we returned to Paris, if not longer.”

“Oh,” I said again, the full impact of the dilemma hitting me at last. 

“I’d have to leave _everything_ behind,” Marinette continued, and I could see her eyes were moist. “My family, Ladybug, my friends,” she said, pausing to give me a hard look. “And… and being Guardian.”

I felt my tail twisting. “Why?” I asked, feeling slightly desperate. “You can take the Miracle Box with you. Master Fu travelled with it. Once we decide on who can fill in for you, we find holders for Trixx and Wayzz and hold down the fort until you get back.”

Marinette looked at me, and I could see from her face that she thought as much of my suggestion as I did. “That’s all well and good,” she said gently, “but at some point, we’re going to need all of the kwamis in action to defeat Hawkmoth. The battle with Miracle Queen proved as much. It wouldn’t be very responsible of me to leave you with one paw tied behind your back.”

“We can manage,” I said, but as soon as I did, I knew we couldn’t, and found myself nodding with a grim smile. “You’ve already thought about this, haven’t you?”

“I have,” she said. “I just didn’t want to act on any of it until I’d thought about it some more. And, I suppose, talked it over with my partner.” She paused. “My friend.”

My ears went up. “If you give up being Guardian,” I said slowly, “you’ll forget about all of this, won’t you? About me?”

Marinette sighed. “Yes,” she said after a long moment. “Based on what happened to Master Fu, I can only assume that I’ll remember non-Miraculous things - my love for Luka, for example. And I will forget he was Viperion, as well as all of the other holders over the years.” A smile played at her lips at that last statement. “Except for you, perhaps.”

“Me?”

“Yes,” she smiled wider. “I’ve never asked you _why_ you’ve chosen to continue to hide your identity from me, though you know mine.”

It was a valid question, and one that I already knew the answer to. The last thing I needed was to confuse the situation further with her discovering my true identity; that had become crystal clear after I’d discovered she’d picked Luka over Chat. I was more certain than ever that finding out I was Adrien would hurt her more than she realized.

“Well,” I said diplomatically, “it doesn’t really matter at this point, does it? Whether you know who I am or not under the mask, it’s still the real _me_ that you’ve always interacted with. It’s probably best - and safer - for us to leave it there.”

Marinette leaned down and kissed me between the feline ears. “I’m not sure I’ve truly appreciated how much of a companion you’ve been to me all these years,” she said. 

Her use of the past tense wasn’t lost on me, and I smiled sadly. “You’ve decided, haven’t you.” I was a statement, not a question.

“Yes,” she said. “I believe I have. I need to put my affairs in order over the next few days, but I’ll be leaving with Luka.”

“Have you chosen another Ladybug, then?” I asked. “A new Guardian?”

“Not yet,” she acknowledged. “But I will.”

“I’m happy to help you vet any candidates,” I said. 

“I appreciate that, Chat, but this is something I need to do on my own.”

“I think I should have a bit of a say in this,” I pointed out. “If you’re selecting a new leader for the team--”

“My decision will be appropriate - and final,” Marinette said succinctly. “I’ll have your best interests in mind, don’t worry about that.”

“Forgive me, Milady, but--”

Marinette leaned down and pressed a finger to my lips. “I’m still Ladybug,” she said quietly. “Maybe your earlier question was off. The real one might be, do you still trust _me_?”

I could see arguing the point was going to be fruitless. As Guardian, it was her call; I was a significant member of the team, to be sure, but not the leader. Unwilling to let myself speak, though, I simply nodded.

“Good kitty,” she said in a tone that was hard not to feel was a bit condescending. It didn’t help that she leaned down and kissed me between my feline ears, too. “I’m glad you asked to talk. This was actually quite helpful.”

“I’m not sure I did anything,” I replied skeptically as I stood. It was obvious that our time was growing short together; the reality that I was on the cusp of losing Marinette a third time was unsettling to say the least. And even if I had a way to stop it, I wasn’t sure I _should_ ; thinking along those lines was way too close to crossing the line I’d imposed upon myself. For what was good for me wasn’t necessarily in alignment with my partner, and her happiness was still paramount. 

“You did,” she nodded as she pushed up from the chaise. “In fact, I think it’s firmed up a few things for me.”

“If you want to talk again--” I started, knowing my masked eyes were betraying all of my emotions, not to mention my traitorous tail.

“I’ll send up the Chat Signal,” she said softly, running a hand along my mask. Her eyes scanned mine, and for a moment, I got the sense that maybe she was reading my thoughts. I felt like, save for my years of Model training, every part of my feline body would have telegraphed how I was feeling at that moment. “I’m sorry, Chat. Something tells me this might be harder on you than anyone else.”

_You have no idea,_ I thought. “I’m stronger than I look,” I smiled, masking my true feelings behind a Model Smile with practiced ease.

Marinette arched an eyebrow in a very Ladybug-like fashion, the one that normally told me she was seeing through my lie. “If you say so,” she said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, @MalcolmReynolds, there be your tulips. ;-)


	5. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Searching for peace after his visit with Marinette, an unexpected loss shifts Chat’s perspective, opening the door for change and setting up an awkward meeting between Adrien and Ladybug._

Knowing for sure now that Marinette was leaving had left me paradoxically more unsettled than before. Enough that I decided I needed some semblance of home - or what passed for it, in my case. Fortunately, I knew the mansion was empty that weekend; as a courtesy, Nathalie had continued to text me my father’s itinerary, despite my not having set foot in Agreste Manor since starting University. I’d long assumed she’d hoped I would reconcile with Father, though for what reasons, I was never really sure.

Well past midnight, I landed on the wrought iron fence ringing the mansion and took it in; save for a few small lights on the exterior, the bulk loomed at me in darkness - or what passed for darkness in my night vision. Still, out of an abundance of caution, I slowly skulked around the edifice, training all of my feline senses on it to ensure I’d be quite alone. At length, I climbed up the rear wall and crawled across the gable roof to an attic dormer that faced away from the street.

Carefully, I slid a claw around the glazing on the window, freeing the pane of glass; holding it, I slid through opening I’d created, setting the pane against the interior wall. I’d pulled this particular stunt once before as a younger Chat, though in that case, the groundskeeper had assumed a bird had taken out the window. I hadn’t quite decided how to mask my efforts this time, but also knew that tossing the pane back out to shatter in the garden below might not be the best option.

As rewarding, perhaps, as that might have been.

Turning, I saw the space hadn’t changed at all; it was bare save for a smart stack of boxes in under one eave. Father wasn’t one for keeping anything not relevant to the moment, so in many ways the space wasn’t truly needed. What _was_ surprising, however, was the level of dust in the space; as I crept across to the accessway to the floor below, I was mindful that I was leaving cat-prints in my wake.

Dropping to my knees, I pulled open the door to the attic, sensing the change in air quality as I did so. Eschewing the ladder, I dropped to the third-floor mezzanine ringing the massive atrium of the mansion. Save for the streetlight illumination coming through the tall windows on the first floor, the space was dark, filled only with the gentle tick-tock from the grandfather clock behind the staircase. Keeping to my crouch, I skulked on all fours across the tile and down the steps to the lower level below where the Family Portrait had once stood. I paused there, looking up; Father had replaced the image of the two of us with an abstract work that defied explanation. Shaking my mane, I leapt toward one of the two doors to my old room and threw it open, rolling in and landing in the center of the space.

It wasn’t mine any longer, to be sure; unlike the attic, Father _had_ been busy here, erasing any trace of his teenage son. Instead of the bedroom I’d been expecting, I found a design studio, replete with patten dummies and fabric tables; gone were my bed, foosball table and video games; leaping upward, I discovered all of my music CDs and movies had been removed. Leaping to the railing, I perched, tail twitching, and surveyed the now antiseptic-feeling space. 

I’d been looking for creature comforts to soothe my soul; this, then, had clearly been a bad choice.

If anything, it was mute confirmation that I was not who I once was; nor, it seemed, was it possible to return to it, either. Growing meant moving forward, though as I looked around what was once my sanctuary, it seemed unexpected changes -- unexpected losses -- would appear along the way. 

My mouth quirked, for it some ways, it felt a bit appropriate. First Ladybug, and now my father; both had pushed me to the side when I’d not conformed as desired, hadn’t they? Perhaps that was a harsh assessment, but given how my conversation had gone with Marinette, it felt honest.

I had no issue with her deciding to depart Paris, truly I didn’t. If she loved Luka as she said she did, I couldn’t blame her for conceivably putting her own dreams on hold to make those of her significant other a reality. It was the very definition of love, or, I thought as I smiled wryly, the definition I adhered to myself. For I had long known I would do anything Ladybug had asked of me -- all in the name of my love for _her_.

My masked eyes went to the floor-to-ceiling window I had once used to escape this space. Even when I’d considered it a sanctuary, I’d often wanted to flee it, hadn’t I? More nights than not, I’d transformed and roamed Paris, leaving my worries behind, at least for a little while. With a shock, I wondered: was it possible Marinette was doing the same thing? 

Rolling off the railing, I landed on my feet (like a good cat), and walked to the window; the faint light from outside allowed a partial reflection of my masked visage to stare back at me, and I could see the wheels turning behind those feline eyes. At the end of the day, Marinette was overwhelmed, wasn’t she? Had the responsibilities of being the Guardian worn her down enough that running away from it all was the easy, logical answer?

Or…

Or…

Or... was it possible she was running from something else? 

Our conversation from months ago appeared in my brain, the one where’d I’d been rather incredulous about her not recognizing all of the advances I’d been making had been pure - that I’d been totally in love with her and not just flirting. 

_That’s not entirely fair, Chat_ , she’d said. _There were bigger issues! How could I say anything?_

I sank to my cat crouch in something of a daze. I’d been so angry at the time, I’d heard what she’d said, but not _listened_ to what she’d _really_ been saying. I now knew her true reasons for leaving Paris, what little comfort it was.

For leaving me.

_Holy catnip. She… she might actually…_

I shook my head harshly, feeling my out-of-control mane shift as I did so. “No,” I said to the space. “She doesn’t love me -- she can’t love me! She loves Luka. She’s leaving with Luka, for Kwami’s sake.”

And yet… I could now see how the pieces could line up in that direction.

 _She’s still hung up on you,_ Luka had said. He thought Marinette was referring to Adrien, which made sense given his reluctance to have me hang out with her. But he was wrong.

Marinette was in love with Chat.

 _Ladybug_ was in love with Chat. 

I sagged against the wall below the window. With Ladybug’s sense of professionalism, she assumed that meant she’d not be able to perform her duties appropriately if she had feelings for her partner and/or acted upon them. It made perfect sense that she’d have therefore done everything possible to prevent it from happening, including ignoring the signs that we were falling for each other. Luka wasn’t her consolation prize - that wasn’t fair to either of them; I was sure their feelings for each other were genuine.

Leaving Paris was her way of making sure she wouldn’t hurt either of us.

“Milady,” I said, closing my eyes as I banged my head against the window. “What have you done?”

Armed with my new understanding of where things stood, I leaned on the side of a brick chimney atop my dorm just ahead of when I was to meet Ladybug. I’d spent most of the day trying to decide whether I should appear as Chat and blow my cover finally, or play this out as Adrien to get a fuller sense of Ladybug’s dilemma. Plagg had convinced me to hold off on revealing myself after I’d explained everything to him, so there I was, the very essence of a Gabriel magazine ad, waiting for the (former?) love of my life to appear. In a nod to our past together, I’d even scrounged around my dresser to find the last half ounce of that terrible cologne Father had made me the face of; I knew Marinette had once loved the fragrance, and wondered what her reaction would be this evening should she pick up the hints of it.

I had made one departure, though; I’d dropped in unexpectedly on my stylist that afternoon, and surprised him by finally relenting to his suggestion that I change it up a bit. I’d been careful to cross check with Plagg in advance that my normal Chat style would appear afterward; not entirely trusting my kwami, I proved it to myself in the mirror just a bit ahead of meeting Ladybug.

True to form, Ladybug was a full fifteen minutes late. I’d assumed as much and had prepared with a thermal mug of coffee, which I was sipping as she dropped down in front of me. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “Traffic was--”

Trying not to be irritated, I cut her off nonetheless. “Rough, I’m sure,” I chuckled.

Ladybug had the good grace to flush slightly. “Thanks for waiting.” I caught her staring at my new style: short on the sides with a fashionable flop on the top, bangs and all. “You… what happened to your hair…?” she trailed off, a look of pain crossing her face.

I tried not to smile. “It was time for a change. For letting go of things that aren’t important any longer. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Uh, yeah,” she said, unable to tear her eyes away from what I’d done.

“You made it sound urgent,” I reminded her, trying and failing not to put too fine a point on it. 

Snapping out of her distraction, she looked at me directly. “It is.” 

I waited, slowly sipping my coffee. 

Snapping her yo-yo to her waist she started pacing the small space. “For reasons you won’t be able to understand, I’m going to be leaving Paris.”

“Leaving?” I said, trying to sound shocked, though I was a little annoyed she didn’t think Adrien could handle -- in general terms, mind you -- her thinking behind her decision. Talk about assuming the blonde stereotype.

“Yes,” she said, keeping her back to me. “I’m coming to the end of my time as Ladybug.”

“Wait,” I said. “You’re giving up being Ladybug? Why?”

“I’m not coming back.” She turned toward me. “Someone else will take my place. So in a sense, Ladybug won’t leave. It just won’t be _this_ Ladybug.”

“That seems… sudden.”

“I’ve been considering it for a few months, now,” she said.

 _Ah-hah._

“Really? But why tell _me_? I’d assume Chat Noir would be the first person on your list.”

“I’ve already talked to him,” she said. “But I needed to talk to you personally.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, though I thought I actually did. I kept my bemused expression going. “Ladybug, I’m flattered, but aside from you saving me from time to time--”

“Before I leave Paris, I need you to know _why_ ,” she interrupted. “Why I was always there to save you.”

I blinked. “What?”

“I… used to love you.”

“Love me?” I faltered, wondering where she was going. “ _Used_ to?”

“You had no way of knowing of course, though I tried in my own way to let you know.” She frowned as she turned away from me. “Frankly, you ignored me completely.”

I blinked again. 

Luka really had been wide of the mark; not only was Marinette _over_ Adrien, she’d found the courage (albeit behind the mask of Ladybug) to finally tell me how she’d felt. How I had _made_ her feel. Knowing what her feelings were for Chat didn’t take away the sting.

Wondering how to salvage this, I tried for humor.

“Ladybug… I honestly had no idea,” I started before realizing I was parroting what she, herself, had said to Chat a few months ago. Still, I plowed on, hiding behind a Model Smile. “I mean, I would have noticed a bug-themed superhero hanging out at the mansion or appearing when I least expected you…”

I trailed off, trying to keep my face pleasantly impassive, for I knew both of those actions had been _exactly_ what Chat had done with Marinette.

A wry smile played at Ladybug’s lips. “I would never be that obvious,” she said. “I fear I am far more subtle than my partner when it comes to relationships.”

 _Ouch_. 

And yet, that told me she _had_ been paying attention to my advances as Chat, despite her protests to the contrary. The shock of determining I’d been right must have appeared on my face, for it gave Ladybug a momentary pause. 

Taking a deep breath, she continued a bit more quietly. “Since I _am_ leaving, I feel comfortable telling you this: my alter ego went to school with you. And... you ignored her totally.”

I could feel my fur rising. “That _can’t_ be true,” I said, though there was a kernel of truth there. I’d overlooked Marinette in my pursuit of Ladybug; now I knew exactly how she’d felt about it. The irony was I’d been in love with her all along, wrapped in the second irony that, short of revealing my identity to her, there was no practical way of explaining what had happened.

Above all of that, though, I found myself a bit bitter she’d decided to unload that little emotional bombshell as she exited Paris. Especially as I felt her view on what had transpired between us was lopsided at best; unintentionally, perhaps, and due entirely to the stupid love square we seemed to be doomed to remain stuck inside. Nevertheless, it was out of character for her, somewhat beneath her, and a tad cruel.

“I wouldn’t have intentionally hurt you,” I said. “I’m sure it was just mixed signals…”

“Maybe it was. Who knows now? But I’ve since come to terms with it.”

I knew my jaw had dropped open. I’d expected something else entirely; more than anything, I’d assumed she’d wanted to offer me the Bug Miraculous, to be her replacement when she left. _That_ was more in line with the Ladybug I knew; I’d even prepared a bit of a speech to thank her for her consideration but courteously decline (without coming out and telling her I was Chat). 

I’d not been prepared for sanctimonious righteousness. 

“This… _this_ is what you wanted to talk to me about?” I said, my voice tight.

“Yes,” she said. “And to tell you I’ve forgiven you.”

“Forgiven… _me_?” I stared at her, and the final vestiges of civility began to crumble. “That’s very… magnanimous of you,” I said, unable to stop myself. 

Her masked eyes widened a bit, but she refrained from saying anything to inflame me further. “Well,” she said after a moment. “Thanks for making time for me.”

I stared at her. “Are you… are you bloody _serious_?”

She blinked. “I don’t--”

“You haul me all the way up here to accuse me of, what, exactly? Ignoring your advances?”

“It’s not quite like that--”

“It’s _exactly_ like that,” I said, trying and failing to keep the steam from coming out of my ears. “Love doesn’t work that way, Ladybug,” I added quietly. “You don’t get to be the angry one when _your_ love goes unrequited.”

 _Believe me,_ I thought. _I should know._

“Adrien--”

“Whether it comforts you it not, I wish you well, Ladybug,” I said icily. “In whatever pursuits you venture forward with.”

Seeming to realize with some horror how the conversation had turned, Ladybug reached an arm out to me. “Adrien, I didn’t intend to leave it this way—”

“Goodnight,” I said as I whirled and made for the rooftop stair, leaving my flummoxed partner behind me before I said anything that would widen the gulf between us. 


	6. Alternative You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _As the school year draws to a close, Chat knows Marinette still hasn’t decided on a replacement for Ladybug before spending the summer on the road with Luka, prompting him to try and force the issue by making her an offer; he’s not prepared for the results._

A week from the end of the semester, I’d already suffered the wrath of Father for my unapproved hairstyle change, dealt with seven deadly akumas and, perhaps worst of all, survived my Financial Calculus final. Only one final was left, and that was in a class where I’d carried a 4.0 from the first day of the semester. Not being overly worried about the exam, Adrien skipped out on studying for the afternoon, allowing Chat much needed time for catching some rays lounging one of my favorite rooftops facing the broad Trocadero plaza.

Totally alone on my rooftop perch, I’d stretched out completely, luxuriating in how my black costume soaked up every photon the sun was willing to put out. The gentle warmth had relaxed me enough that I’d started to purr, and I’d closed my masked eyes to allow myself something of a catnap.

Sleep, though, brought further troubled thoughts; as had happened once before, my dreams were infused with my fears and passions, and followed the familiar pattern. The face would shift between Marinette and Ladybug, but always it was Milady in peril, and I would be unable to reach her - to save her - before whatever ingeniously devious akuma trap was sprung. Each tragic ending begat another, ever more tragic one until I at last awoke with a start and the gnawing dread I was helpless to prevent anything.

_So much for getting some relaxation in_ , I thought grimly as I stretched out again and tried to settle my thoughts once more. 

It was no secret _why_ I was thinking of Ladybug, for there were just a few short days left before she and Luka boarded the bullet train to their first concert venue. While I’d obviously seen her rather frequently since our little tête-à-tête on my dorm roof, she’d been more than a little tightlipped when I’d pressed her for details on her plan. The closer we drew to her departure, the more restless I was becoming; I wasn’t sure if it was a side effect of being a cat that made me uneasy not knowing what the path forward was to be.

Closing my masked eyes once more, sleep didn’t come; instead, my feline ears picked up the faint _ziiing_ of a particular yo-yo. I wondered what it said that of me that my heart didn’t do the skip it once did at the anticipation of the appearance of my partner. Instead, I sighed and resigned myself to the prospect I was about to receive the back half of the discussion she’d started with me earlier.

Keeping my eyes closed, I laced my paws behind my mane and feigned nonchalance. A moment later, the gentle sound of her feet landing on the tile next to me, followed by the sound of the yo-yo retracting clued me in that she had arrived. I found myself smiling at the familiarity of it all. “Do you think the next Ladybug will have a yo-yo?” I asked.

“What makes you think it would be a lady?”

I cracked open a masked eye. “For balance,” I said. “A ying to my yang.”

“I’m curious,” Ladybug asked as she settled in next to me. “How long do you plan on remaining Chat Noir?”

“Furrever,” I said smugly as I closed my eye. 

“Even after Hawkmoth is defeated?”

My tail twitched as I wondered where she was going. “Today, it’s Hawkmoth,” I said. “We’ll defeat him in time, but some other form of evil is bound to replace him. Like I said earlier -- it’s balance. Evil to our good.”

“What if the evil is not just here in Paris?”

“It won’t be,” I agreed. “I can only handle one city at a time, Milady. But if I can be helpful, anywhere I’m needed, I’ll be there.”

“But you have a life. Outside of the mask.”

“Just like you,” I said as I rolled to my side and propped my head up on a paw. Twirling my tail in the other paw, I continued. “I didn’t choose this, it chose _me_. I take my duty very seriously, and will execute it until I’m no longer able to do so.”

“Says the cat sleeping in the sunshine,” Ladybug smiled.

“We all need downtime,” I replied. “Even superheroes.” I looked at her and the puffiness around her eyes that even the mask couldn’t hide told me she’d not been sleeping well either. Normally, I’d have gently asked what was bothering her, but today I wanted answers. “I assume you dropped in to, well, drop on me what your decision is.”

Her masked eyes widened. “Not very tactful today, are we?”

I rolled over onto my back again. “You were quite clear my opinion didn’t matter. I’d just like to get this over with and move on to more important things. Like finding the purrfect sunbeam, or what kind of catnip to purchase.”

“That’s not true.”

“That I buy catnip?”

“Your opinion does matter, Chat. And all I said was the ultimate decision is mine.”

“I never said it wasn’t.” I cracked a masked eye again. “Over the years, you’d begun to trust my judgement. I assumed you’d avail yourself of that here. I was wrong.” I closed my masked eye. “Lay it on me, then.”

“Interesting choice of words,” Ladybug said. I heard her pull out her yo-yo and idly start to twirl it; much as my tail, it often telegraphed her emotions. “I visited with an old friend a few days ago,” she said. “Before I spoke with him, I’d planned on offering him the Bug Miraculous, but once I got there, I couldn’t do it.”

“Bingo,” I mumbled. Normally I’d congratulate myself on out-thinking Milady, but today… not so much.

Distractedly, she continued without reacting to my snark. “I’m not sure why, exactly. He’d have been a good fit for it. Seeing him that evening, though, as he looked at me so expectantly, I just kept babbling instead. I think I wound up torching our friendship in the end. It hadn’t been my intention, but he was so angry when he left…”

“How nice,” I said. Unconsciously, I folded my arms against my chest and started to tap a claw against my costume. “You really are making the rounds this week.”

“Chat,” Ladybug said softly as she reached over to put a gloved hand to a bicep. “Stop being a petulant teenager for a moment, would you? This is important.”

Keeping my eyes closed, I knew my tail had started tapping against the tile as well, belying my impatience. “You’re drawing this out like a bad reality show, Milady. Get to the point.”

I felt her withdraw her hand. “I’ve hurt you, somehow, haven’t I?” she asked after a few moments.

Opening my masked eyes finally, I shifted my head slightly to look at her. “I told you a long time ago it wasn’t cool to play with people’s emotions, Ladybug,” I said quietly. “Despite that, it’s been a bit of a roller coaster these past two weeks, hasn’t it?”

Leaning up once more, I continued. “Am I hurt? I have been for a while. But,” I added, careful to avoid the same language I’d used with her as Adrien, “I’m _not_ angry at being passed over. I stand behind what I said to you months ago - your happiness is paramount to me. If that’s leaving all of this behind and travelling with Luka, then so be it.”

Pushing myself up into a full seated-Chat position, I put a paw to her arm. “I’m just not convinced it’s what you really want to do.”

She looked at me. “How can you know that?”

I sighed. “I’m a cat, Milady, and as you well know naturally empathetic. But your dragging out the decision on the Bug Miraculous - not to mention the Guardianship itself - tells me more than anything I can sense from you.” I paused. “And that’s saying something, given the waves of discontent coming off of you.”

Flipping around so I could face her, I gently put my paws on either side of her. “Tell me honestly. Why are you _really_ leaving Paris?”

“To be with Luka,” she replied, but she immediately looked away - her classic tell. We had been together too long for me not to know that it wasn’t the entire truth.

Arching a masked eyebrow at her, I sighed again. “Even now, on the eve of you leaving and possibly never returning, you can’t be truthful to yourself. Or with me.” I ran a claw gently down the side of her face. “Ladybug, you said earlier you thought I wasn’t acting like myself. I think it’s rather the opposite, don’t you?”

She turned back to me. “I don’t follow,” she frowned. 

“None of this is in character for the Ladybug I know - the Ladybug I _love_. And yes,” I said softly as I looked her straight in the eye, “I still care about you. I told you before how I felt about you wouldn’t change.” I paused again. “Why are you leaving Paris?”

She looked away. “It’s complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” I said quietly. “Are you leaving because of me?”

“No!” she said, but it was a tad rushed and much too forceful.

“Ladybug,” I said carefully, “we all make choices. Some feel right and turn out not to be, but all have consequences.” I paused, noting she still hadn’t turned to look at me. “You chose Luka over me. I can live with that. What I can’t live with is you feeling like you _have_ to leave _because_ of me.” I took a breath. “That’s not fair to me, nor to you, nor to Luka for that matter. We would _all_ be living a lie.”

Ladybug remained silent. 

I dropped my paws. “I can’t help you if you won’t let me,” I said softly. “That’s all I’ve ever really wanted to do, I suppose. Help you save Paris.” I looked away and said even softer: “Save yourself.”

We sat like that, staring away from each other for quite a while. I was surprised she didn’t leave; I was more surprised that I stayed, for it felt like there was little else to be gained from talking. But if she were still leaving, truly leaving Paris, I knew I could relieve a little of her burden - if she would let me.

I waited a bit longer and the said, very, very softly: “Make me the Guardian.”

“What?” she replied, a but shocked.

“Milady,” I said, turning back toward her and softening my gaze a bit. “You leave Paris in a few days. This can’t be some kind of last minute Hail Mary.” I put a paw to her arm again. “Think about it. You’re having trouble deciding on who to bestow your own Miraculous on; choosing a Guardian is five hundred times _harder_. I already know what I’m getting into, and if you let me, I can select the next Ladybug for you - even after you depart. You won’t have to worry about it.” 

I searched her eyes. “You can go, have a full and loving life with Luka, and put all of this behind you.”

“You would do that? For me?” she asked.

“In a heartbeat, Milady,” I said gently. “And I think you know that, too. What I can’t understand is why you’ve not asked me.”

Ladybug frowned. “You’d temporarily possess both the Bug and the Cat,” she pointed out. “That would be rather dangerous, don’t you think?”

I looked at her. “You can’t _honestly_ believe I’d pull a Hawkmoth.”

“It’s not that,” she said defensively. “I’ve already already considered it.”

That made me blink. “You did?”

“Yes.” She looked away again. “No! Not that you’d be Hawkmoth, or some version of it. Just that you’d be in a terrible position, and one I just don’t want to put you in.”

“You know I can handle it,” I implored. “And I wouldn’t have the Bug all that long! If you’re _that_ worried about it, we settle on a new Bug before you leave. That way--”

“It’s a terrible idea,” she interrupted. “Simply terrible.”

“Then if not me, _who_? If there’s someone out there you think is more qualified than your partner--”

“It’s not _that_!” Ladybug said again, before finally crying out: “I just--I can’t--!”

“What?” I demanded, my masked eyes narrowing. I felt like we were on the cusp of a breakthrough, but part of me was suddenly queasy over having finally forced her to the cliff.

Ladybug looked at me, mouth agape mid-sentence. As her eyes started to glisten, she finally spoke, nearly so quiet that my feline ears nearly couldn’t hear her voice.

“I _won’t_ do that to someone I love. I’ll take the whole bloody lot with me before I saddle you with the burden I’ve had to carry!”

In a blur of red-and-black, she leapt away from me and sailed off into the sky, leaving me clutching at air and looking after her receding form. Part of me wanted to chase after her, but the rational portion of my fur brain recognized she didn’t need me around just then.

Only then, as I watched her disappear, did I realize she’d uttered the words I never thought I’d hear.

_...someone I love..._


	7. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Chat receives an unexpected visit as he waits to confront Marinette a final time at the train station, changing everything._

Viperion tracked me down in the wee hours on the day of departure.

Hawkmoth had gone silent, which was never a good sign; it carried the additional downside of allowing Ladybug to avoid meeting up with me. While not exactly wanting to be a stalker, after completing my final exam of the semester, I’d transformed immediately to begin a vigil just out of sight, keeping tabs on Marinette in hopes that she’d summon me to finally resolve the ultimate question.

I’d had a lot of practice keeping to the shadows over the years, and was no stranger to going a day or two on little food and even less sleep. As much as I needed answers, something felt wrong about me just dropping in on her unannounced and demanding them, especially given how we had parted the last time I’d pressed her. 

There was no shortage of melancholy as I watched her pack up her things in her dorm room, and then tearfully say goodbye to Alya; it felt more visceral when she dropped those same items off at the Bakery and similarly shared a final meal with her parents before heading to the stage Bob Ross had rented to help the band pack up one last time.

The cold rain began as the door was finally pulled shut on the semi and the truck pulled away well after midnight, the tour bus having departed a few hours earlier with the rest of the band; I wasn’t privy to their plans, and could only assume they were going on ahead and would met Luka and Marinette at their first venue. The romantic in me could appreciate why the two lovebirds would be taking the train together later that morning; given the close quarters of the tour bus, it was likely the last bit of privacy they’d get for a while.

Tactfully, I decided not to follow them to Luka’s apartment, and instead ran over the rooftops to the train station, my black costume masking me against the foreboding clouds. I made one quick sidestop, hovering beneath an awning long enough to top Plagg off with some cheese before climbing into the decorative filigree of the station to wait for Marinette’s arrival.

I’d planned ahead and had a small cache stashed in a nook: a thermos of coffee and a few sandwiches, several of which I devoured nearly immediately upon arrival. As I dusted bread crumbs off the front of my costume, it occurred to me I had no idea what train they were leaving on - there were several staggered throughout the day to their first concert destination. According to what I could pull up on my baton’s web browser, the first train left at 0510, so I curled up beneath a bit of concrete and contemplated how to spend the next few hours.

Without really thinking about it, I started to paw through the photos on my trusty device. I’d never gotten around to removing anything, so there were snapshots going all the way back to our first year together as the Heroes of Paris; others I had downloaded from the Ladyblog during quieter moments on patrol. 

I smiled as my claw stopped on one photo. It was the shot Alya had taken of Ladybug and I in front of the Bakery; she’d caught me mid-cough, and I smiled at how close I’d inadvertently come to revealing myself that week, for just a few hours earlier, I’d posted an Instagram photo as Adrien lamenting being under the weather. An akuma had forced me out of bed and into the fight, but Ladybug had quickly shushed me away the moment we’d defeated it.

Come to think of it, Marinette had gotten ill shortly after that. I smiled wider, realizing it was one more little hint that I’d missed. I really had been a clueless kitty.

Sliding through the photos with a claw tip, I hit the one photo that caused so much consternation for my partner. A massive Chat smile lit up my face each time I came across it; there we were, Chat and Ladybug, passionately kissing on the Montparnasse helipad moments before her Miraculous Cure wiped out our memories of _why_ , exactly, we’d felt compelled to do it. I zoomed in and saw the looks on our respective faces; it was clear to _me_ at least it had been a moment of pure honesty between the two of us. 

The moment had faded pretty fast. 

Alya’s photo wound up one of my most cherished touchpoints, proving to me that we really did have a connection.

_Had a connection_ , I corrected mentally.

The picture was still up on my baton when a feline ear twisted and I heard the approach of another hero; the unique scent of Viperion carried further in the cold, damp weather, which caught me a bit off guard. It was unusual for Luka to be out and about transformed, for he fell closer to Marinette on the spectrum of Miraculous usage (as in, only when there was an akuma). I smiled slightly, for now that I thought about it, once he’d become a permanent holder Viperion had started to take advantage of the unique acoustics that could be found in places only accessible by someone who could climb the sides of buildings with ease.

Clearly, I’d corrupted the poor guy.

It was a happy thought that brought a smile to my face as the snake-themed hero dropped nearly soundlessly beside me on the train station facade. “Hey, ‘Rion,” I said. “I thought snakes hated the cold.”

“As much as cats hate to be wet,” he smiled. “And yet, here we are.”

“Indeed.” I grabbed my thermos. “Coffee?”

“No,” he said, “but thanks.”

I nodded and poured out another capful. “You’re not one to roam the streets at night,” I observed as I sipped the still-hot liquid.

“No,” he smiled. “Though I can see the attraction for you. It’s quiet and peaceful, isn’t it?”

“It can be, yes.”

Viperion looked at me and sighed. “We have a problem.”

“We do?” I asked, slightly perplexed.

“Yeah. I don’t know how to put this, exactly, but after spending the night with Marinette--”

“TMI, dude,” I said, waving a paw at Viperion.

He flushed red. “Not like that, Chat. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

I smirked. “Are you honestly going to tell me with a straight face--”

“Chat,” Viperion said quietly as the color on his face rose. “Please.”

“I’m sorry,” I said honestly as I reached out to him. “It’s been a long couple of weeks.”

“Yeah.” He clapped a hand against my paw. “It has, and I’m partly to blame for it.”

I narrowed my masked eyes. “Partly?”

“Yeah. I love Marinette; the time we spend apart, even now, feels like a song that has abruptly ended. Going on tour like we are, I was faced with the real prospect that it would be months or more before I’d see her again.”

“So you asked her along.”

“Not at first,” he replied, surprising me. “I was prepared to ache in silence, for like you, I know how she feels about being Ladybug and her duty to protect Paris.”

I blinked. “She’s a bit conflicted over that right now,” I said.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “That’s pretty much all we talked about after sending the semi on its way.” He sighed. “When I told her about the record deal and the tour, I hinted how much I’d love having her with me. One thing led to another, and suddenly she was helping me pack and had made plans to join me.”

“That’s Marinette,” I smiled. “And she truly loves you, ‘Rion. She’ll follow you wherever you go.”

“I know she loves me,” he said softly. “And I love her with all of my heart.”

“I know you do,” I said quietly, and for the first time in a long time, I felt that hole in my heart where Ladybug was supposed to have been. “It’s in everything you do with her. The way you look at her; how you smile when she’s not looking.”

Viperion quirked a slight smile. “You speak from experience,” he observed.

“Maybe,” I said, but my tail had twitched and not gone unnoticed by my companion.

“She loves me,” he added thoughtfully. “But I know now that she loves you more.”

I stared at him. “She--”

“It’s why she’s even now still trying to decide how to leave,” he said, looking at me directly. “At the eleventh hour, she still can’t figure out what to do.” He paused for a moment, and smiled wider. “Oh, she _does_ love you,” he said seeing the disbelief on my face. 

“She picked you, Viperion,” I said. “I’m not in the business of stealing my friend’s girlfriends.”

“I know,” he said. “What we’ve both put you through these past few months - I’m not sure either of us realized what it had done to you. Not right away, at least.” 

“I’ve not exactly been the best partner for the Team,” I said. “That’s on me.”

“There’s plenty of blame to go around,” ‘Rion said. “What I’d forgotten - but took the last couple of weeks to remind me - is just how much you care for her. For all of us. Despite the cost to yourself, emotionally, you were committed to helping Marinette.”

He turned to look at the trains lined up behind us. “I can’t stand between the two of you,” he said. “I love her too much to do that to her.” 

“What are you saying, exactly?”

Viperion looked over his shoulder. “Much like you did six months ago, I’m stepping out of the way. I changed my ticket this morning, and will be on that train at 0510.”

My masked eyes went wide and feline ears went straight up. “Luka… you can’t do that. It’ll crush Marinette.”

“I don’t think it will,” he said softly. “And it’s my choice. Not hers.” Viperion smiled wider. “It’s the right call, and you know it. You’re just too much of a gentleman to point that out.”

My eyes narrowed. “Gentleman? Whatever gave you that--”

Viperion waved me off. “You put on a good facade, Chat, but at the end of the day, your breeding shows itself in everything you do. I don’t know who is under that mask of yours -- don’t worry,” he added, seeing the worried expression in my feline eyes, “I’m not making any guesses, and Marinette definitely has no idea who you are. But that heart of yours, your compassion, your desire to do right by everybody speaks volumes.”

“Viperion--”

“I’ve made up my mind,” he said softly as he turned and put a hand on my shoulder. “And you _know_ I’m correct. This is the right move.”

“My friend,” I said very carefully, “are you _absolutely_ sure about this?”

“More than anything I’ve ever done.”

I put a paw on his shoulder. “You are a snake among snakes, ‘Rion,” I said. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll be back,” he smiled. “Someday.”

“Good. Paris won’t be the same without you.”

“I just have three requests,” he said. 

“Name them.”

“Keep her from following me,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “I hope the next two requests are easier.”

“Maybe,” he laughed. “Promise me you’ll treat her like the princess she is.”

“Without question.”

“And,” he added with a sheepish grin. “Can you give me a lift?”

* * *

The rain only intensified after Luka’s train departed, making me wonder if it was an omen for what was to come. By the time I saw Marinette getting out of her taxi, struggling with her suitcase, my coffee had long since been drunk and for once I was getting chilled despite the costume. 

Even without my enhanced feline vision, I could tell she was angry and knew what I’d told Luka was correct. As much as I appreciated the chance he’d given me, he’d also put me into an awkward spot. How I handled the next few minutes would make or break my relationship with Ladybug. 

With Marinette. 

I dropped down to the sidewalk, landing next to Marinette and quickly spinning my baton up over her head, using it as an umbrella. “Princess,” I said softly.

She turned to me and I could see from her red-rimmed eyes that she’d been crying. “Did you know?” Marinette asked, her voice hoarse. 

“Just in the last few hours,” I said. 

“He’s left me,” she said. “But I can catch him. The next train—“

“Mari,” I said softly. Carefully, I moved her into the portico of the station and slid my baton into its spot before unzipping my costume pocket. Pulling out the Snake Miraculous, I held it out to her in my paw. “He made sure I would get this back to you.”

Marinette stared at the bracelet. Slowly, she looked up at me, and I could see the anger stirring behind her eyes. “You… _you_ did this! You drove him away!”

“Yes,” I said, surprising both of us.

Her eyes went wide. “That’s _not_ the response I was expecting,” she said, her anger dissipated and replaced by puzzlement. 

“Because we both know it’s true,” I said softly. “But not purrhaps the way you think; Luka’s the one that had to point it out to me.”

She nodded, eyes still wide.

“He knows you love him - but you love someone else _more_.”

“You,” she said simply. “He knew?”

“Yes,” I said.

“But I never said anything. Never _did_ anything. I even pushed you away - somewhat harshly,” she added with a bit of a grimace.

“All true.”

She looked away for a moment. I wanted in the worst way to reach out and pull her into an embrace, to assure her it was going to be fine - not that I knew it would be, mind you. But I held off, and held my breath.

“He knew,” she whispered. “And he left… to free me?”

“Something like that.”

She turned back. “After everything I’ve put you through, you still have feelings for me? And _knowing_ who I am outside the mask -- you still care for me?”

“How can you ask me that?” I said softly, as my vision blurred. “You are my world and have been from the first moment you tangled us up in that yo-yo of yours. Finding out that my friend - my _best_ friend - was also my partner was just an amazing bonus.”

“But I chose Luka over you,” she said. 

“Yes,” I said. “And I’m not expecting you to suddenly swoon and throw yourself into my arms, either. Assuming you decide to stay in Paris, though, we can work on where we go from here.”

She blinked. “You’re not going to stop me? From going after Luka?”

“No,” I said. “Luka asked me to, actually. But I won’t. If you decide to stay here with me, I want it to be a decision you made for yourself. Not one _either_ of us made for you, or forced you into a situation where you felt you had no other choice.” I paused. “Luka knew that when he left; now you really do have a choice.”

Marinette looked at me. “Even now,” she said with a small smile of wonder, “you would let me go, feeling the way you do about me?”

“I’d even let you go with the Guardianship, and fight Hawkmoth all by myself if that’s what you wanted,” I said honestly before leaning in and whispering. “I’d purrfer to have you by my side, Milady. Furever.”

As I pulled away, Marinette caught my mane in one hand and arrested my movement, then connected her blue eyes with my masked green ones. “I do love you, Chat,” she whispered, just loud enough that my feline ears could pick it up. “But I am going to need some time to figure this all out. It might take a bit; I’ve spent so long trying to keep walls up between our duties as heroes and our personal needs, I’m not sure how easy it will be for me to pull them down. Are you willing… to help me with that?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said without hesitation.

“It might get bumpy,” she added.

“If the last six months are any indicator, I think I can handle it.”

Marinette smiled, and it was a smile I’d not seen from either her or Ladybug in quite a while. “You’re willing to be patient with me? I don’t think this is going to be easy.”

“Nothing worth doing is,” I reminded her. “But I will be there with you, every step of the way.”

“You always have, haven’t you?”

“And I will be,” I said, finally pulling her into a hug. “As long as I am able to breath.”

“You are one special kitty,” she said softly. “I don’t deserve you.”

“It’s rather the opposite,” I said quietly.

“We’ll agree to disagree on that one,” she chuckled softly. “Come on,” she said as she lifted up her suitcase. “Let’s find an alley where I can transform, and then I’ll feed that rumbling stomach of yours. Maman will have some fresh croissants if we get to the Bakery before ten.”

I searched her eyes. “Are you _sure_ this is what you want?”

“I think so, yes,” she said. “Luka seems to have known me better than I knew myself.”

“Both of us,” I amended. “He’s quite the friend. I’m going to miss that snake.”

“Me, too,” she said, leaning her head into me as we started around the building to find said alley. As we rounded the corner, though, Marinette turned and put a finger to my chest. “There is one thing,” she said, smiling slightly. “You know who I am…” she started.

“True.”

“So?”

“Yes, Milady?” I smiled back.

Her smile faltered. “You’re not going to tell me?”

“No, Milady,” I said carefully. “For it’s not relevant, not who I am beneath the mask. You’re in love with Chat, right?”

“Well, yes, but…”

“Then let’s see where that takes us,” I replied logically. “The ‘me’ with the mask is far more handsome, anyway.”

She rolled her eyes. “You seriously want me to date a feline?”

“You were in a steady relationship with a snake,” I pointed out, arching a masked eyebrow. “At least I can purr.” I ran a hand along her arm. “I suspect if this _is_ what we both think it is, there will be a time for me to reveal myself to you.”

Marinette looked at me and smiled as she put a hand over mine. “I think I can live with that.”

It wasn’t lost on me that the sun had managed in that moment to poke out from behind the clouds, bathing the two of us in gloriously golden light for a few moments. I took it as a portent of things to come and found myself smiling, _genuinely_ smiling, for the first time in months.

I might have even been purring, too.


End file.
